So I think we are up to the final few days of college right? 🙂 And I decided this is just my story instead of being a back story. Again, my blog, I do what I want (hahaha)
Before we graduated Adam and I came out to visit So Cal to check out Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena. I might have had a meltdown. It might have had to do with all the millions of people. It might be that I am from Oklahoma and have not experienced life at such a fast pace. It was hard to know this was what I was going to. Anyway, we visited some friends in Riverside and well, Riverside became where we were going to moved to. I mean, we were only going to be there a few years right?
On May 27, 2000, Adam and I were married.
The following week we loaded up the moving van and heading out to begin our lives together in So Cal. We came here without jobs and only a place to live. Talk about trusting God for what we needed. Thankfully I was able to get a receptionist position (my worst job ever only because I was not made to sit for that long) the very first week we were here. Adam enrolled in Fuller and also got a job working first at a car dealership, then at a place about 45 minutes away. We were beginning the path.
And this is where I am going to try to squeeze 10 years of life in a short paragraph.
We got pregnant right away (not planned) and then I miscarried (a very hard time for both of us). We didn’t have the skills to relationally deal with our pain the right way. Then a year later we got pregnant again (planned) and had boy #1 in March 2002. At this time Adam had quit Fuller and I was working on getting my teaching credential. By the time I was student teaching, we decided that Adam needed to work closer to home and to figure out what was the next step for him. So he quit his job and then became the stay at home dad. Thankfully I got a job teaching in 2003. So after a year of getting life somewhat to a normal rhythm, we (Adam) began working on a PHD. I worked to support and pay bills. In 2005 Boy #2 came, still working….still going to school.
All the while my heart was asking questions like:
when are we ever going to get overseas? am I just stuck here? what is my purpose for working? was this the plan God?
Slowly my dream and plans began to move the back. I couldn’t hold onto them without having a lot of pain and perhaps bitterness toward my husband. We did do a few things like help start a church plant that was missionally minded and go to Cambodia with our family of 4. That helped, but really my dream was no longer a thought.
2008 boy #3 came (planned) Still teaching and still working on PHD although we are now to exams (this is the phase right before his dissertation)
2009 boy #4 came (not planned) still teaching and still preparing for exams. I think at this point I had given up all together the dream of living overseas. We were up to eye balls in debt from degrees. We also now had 4 boys. That’s a lot of people to prepare to go overseas.
Externally, I put on a happy face, sucked it up and kept on going. Internally, I was hurt and wondered if God even cared for me at all. Little did I know what the next few years were to bring…. (to be continued)