Sorry for the delay in this post. I felt the need to share some of this info. to a few people in person before I shared it with the internets.
So 2010 rolls around. I remember in January Adam saying that this year was going to be a monumental year for us and well….it was.
So remember the context surrounding this story was my hope and desire for our family to be overseas serving those who don’t know about Jesus. Life had taken over and we were 4 kids in and I had now been teaching for 7 years. I had altogether given up on this dream.
I need to also put a disclaimer here. I am going to share a pretty vulnerable part of my story with the hopes of being encouraging. There are many of you who do not know this part. Please forgive me for not sharing. It has been a journey and there are times where I succumb to shame and guilt. Ok so moving forward.
On February 11, 2010, God stepped into our mess of a life and began to work. Adam had had a day of God speaking to him and telling him it was time to share. I on the other hand was completely unawares. We already had a date night planned so it was ordained to happen. That night after dinner, Adam shared for the past 10 years of our marriage he had had an on again off again addiction to pot. Even as I type this, it is hard to believe. In the moment, God gave me the grace to forgive and then we began to talk about the next steps. Thankfully, this was a beautiful confession and beautiful sign of God moving in both Adam and I, but that was just the beginning of a new journey.
I quickly found out that I too had a problem called codependency. It is a sneaky little problem because it looks really good on the outside, but on the inside I was just a sinful girl who needed a Savior to come in and perform surgery. (if you are curious to know the definition that I am using for codependency you can read it here http://www.christiancodependence.com/definecodependence.html )
It was then the hard work of refining began. I can honestly say though, I am so thankful for that moment. It set our family on the right course. Adam and I both worked/rested in the Grace of God. It also put some of the missing pieces of why we weren’t really going anywhere into place. Within a year, we had made some amazing growth thanks to an awesome church (sandalschurch.com) and some amazing community who mentored us and encouraged us.
Adam began a ministry for addicts called Real with Recovery (now Real Healing). I for once led and did nothing. Well, that’s not completely true…I co-led a group for co-dependency for women. It was amazing how God continued to strip and mold me into the person he created me to be.
Even though things had drastically changed inside of me, I still had this notion that we were supposed to be overseas….(to be continued)